HopeForYourFamily

Gustav’s path              Ike’s path?
For those of us still trying to regroup and put our lives and homes back together after Gustav, I know we are all watching Ike’s path with prayerful concern.  Two basic tips:

1. Remember everything you did to prepare for Gustav that helped, and add to that everything you realized you should have done after the storm did its damage.  Put your plan and preparation into action, if Ike continues on his current path.

2. Don’t panic.  The worst case scenario is this bad boy heads straight across open waters, smashing into New Orleans and ripping through Baton Rouge.  (Okay, I’ll admit that’s MY worst case scenario).  But even if the worst should happen - GOING INTO A PANIC WILL MAKE IT WORSE, NOT BETTER.

In prayer and preparation,

Roger

p.s. - After posting, I went back and read two previous posts from previous years regarding the storms of life.  It did me good to read my own lessons learned.  Let’s face it - I’m in a storm season, as are many of my regular readers.  I hope these posts are helpful for you now.

“Surviving the Storms in Life”

“Storms”

I am struck with the great irony of this post as I offer some positive guidance to families who, like my own, have been thrown off track by the wind and rain of Hurricane Gustav - most of whom don’t have electricity or internet access yet, and so cannot read this post today when they may need it most.  Well, for those of you who do find this post, and who really need some encouragement for your self and your family - know that you are in my prayers and hopes.  Following these links are some basic tips to help you and your family keep your sanity and remain as hopeful as possible during this extended time of uncertainty, recovery, and stifling muggy heat:

National Child Traumatic Stress Network: Hurricane Tools and Links

U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services: Hurricane Gustav

Managing Traumatic Stress: Tips for Recovering from Natural Disasters

Resilience: After a Hurricane

Managing Traumatic Stress: Dealing with Hurricanes from Afar

1. Get your rest.  I know it is hard to sleep in a house without electricity in this early September heat of South Louisiana.  (more…)

Open letter to CNN, FOX, MSN, and the gang (might as well throw in President Bush while we’re at it):

I care deeply about the people of New Orleans.  I was here in Baton Rouge to do what I could for those who came our way three years ago when Katrina ravaged their beautiful city.  And I know they were hit by Gustav, and have their struggles.  But I’ve got news for the news media…

Louisiana is more than New Orleans.  I guess Houma, Morgan City, Baton Rouge, and the rest of the cities and towns in our great state that got hit much harder than New Orleans by Hurricane Gustav just aren’t as interesting or important as The Big Easy.  I have always striven to make my website/blog a positive place, so I will keep this brief.  Maybe if the hardcore “treehuggers” (don’t get me wrong - I am an active environmentalist) realize how many beautiful centuries-old trees have been totally ravaged around here, the news outlets will find a story sensational enough to run.  In the meantime, we’ll be hoping and praying the power crews make us a higher priority than the news crews.

From Baton Rouge with loved ones from Houma, Morgan City, and West Monroe,
Roger

p.s. - For some real news coverage about the impact, aftermath, and struggle to recover from Hurricane Gustav, I recommend www.wafb.com

p.p.s. - I got a good reminder from a blogger today that Gustav victims is a much farther-reaching group than Louisianians, and that folks in Cuba, Haiti, and Jamaica were hit harder than we were, and many of those folks have far fewer available resources to rebuild.  Thanks for the perspective check on my perspective check!

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your prayers on behalf of those of us who live in the path of Hurricane Gustav.  I am extremely grateful to report that all of us in my family are doing fine, and our home was not damaged.  It seems our neighborhood fared much better than many others in Baton Rouge.  For those of you who don’t live in the area - I don’t know what you are seeing or hearing on the news coverage, but Baton Rouge is a wreck right now.  Please keep praying for us.  It seems the biggest, most pressing need for the city and the state right now is power restoration.  While there were obviously tremendous unique challenges in post-Katrina New Orleans, the current challenge of restoring power to East Baton Rouge Parish and the rest of South Louisiana is unprecedented.  Please pray for everyone involved in these efforts, along with all who have lost loved ones, homes, etc.

On a more reflective note, I must say it has been interesting going through all of this with a four year old boy around.  My son’s perspective has been quite interesting for me to experience throughout the storm and its aftermath.  Some things that I just take in stride have been very challenging and stressful for him.  At the same time, he has the ability to splash in the puddles and climb in the trees while the streets are lined with bewildered folks trying to assess and clear out the damage.  What he is teaching me is that there is a time to cry out in misery and frustration and just honestly express how awful you feel about life, and there is a time to stop looking at the problems and challenges and just play and dance and sing.  Thanks for the Ecclesiastes reminder, son.

More soon (including pictures),

Roger

Just a quick note to let everyone (who isn’t a Facebook friend) know we are staying in Baton Rouge and bracing for Gustav, as of 9:30 Sunday night.  My family, along with my fellow South Louisianians are grateful for your prayers.  I’ll be posting again as soon as I can after the storm passes.

With Hope, Roger

UPDATE 6:35am, Labor Day - Getting windy around here, but so far no big deal.  From watching the excellent news coverage on WAFB, I am extremely impressed with how well our state has learned its lessons from Katrina and Rita - from state officials to local officials to the terrific citizens of South Louisiana.  From what I can tell, Cajun Country is as ready as possible for whatever Gustav brings our way.

UPDATE Deux 9:40am, Labor Day - Pretty major wind gusts around here, but Gustav looks to be taming to a level Baton Rouge will easily weather.  A big limb did come cracking down from the neighbor’s tree right across the street - thankfully bringing no property damage.  That tree looks like it may fare worse before this is over, but it looks to be the only one in jeopardy that I can see.  We’ve decided watching “The Challenge of the Superfriends” is a higher priority than watching the news at this point, if that tells you anything.  The worst has yet to hit, but we’re thankful to be expecting a much more reasonable worst than what folks thought a couple days ago.  Keep the prayers going!

  Late morning.

  Late afternoon - same tree.
UPDATE Three - 4:15pm Labor Day - Okay, I’ve got a whole new respect for hurricanes now, and we just saw “cat 1″ gusts in Baton Rouge.  This has been a wild day.  I’ll post more pictures when I can, but let’s just say the previous two were just a foreshadowing of what our neighborhood now looks like.  Thankfully, no damage to our home, vehicles, or selves, or to any of our neighbors that I can tell.  Next door neighboor will definitely need a re-roof job after the storm, but looks like he only lost shingles.  Thanks for your prayers.  We’re hoping for restored power ASAP. 

UPDATE Four - Friday, September 5 - I was finally able to upload a few pictures from after the storm.  I wish I’d made the effort to get more, better shots of everything.  But I guess I had a few things on my mind.

Our live oak survived, but not without injury.

In the background is the “honey tree” I mentioned on the air which had a beehive and seven or eight full sheets of honeycomb inside.  It was a very large water oak which we have been nervously watching for years during heavy storms and mercifully fell into the yard and street without damaging any homes but the one within its cavernous hollow trunk.  It supplied a tasty afternoon snack and breakfast for the morning after the storm, but not without some stings.

   There is something to be said for the four year old response to a hurricane: 1. Help clean up for a little while.  2. Celebrate what remains by climbing the nearest intact tree.  3. Run and splash barefooted in the puddles with all your might.

Ever have one of those times where you saw a problem, knew you needed to do something about it, and really searched all around for the source of the problem so you could make the right adjustment or find the right solution? And you really felt the pressure to figure this out, because you knew it was a serious matter? And you looked here, and you looked there, and you tried this, and you tried that, but you just couldn’t seem to get to the root and straighten things out?

And then you finally came to the painful, sobering, yet freeing realization that YOU were the source of the problem, or at least the biggest contributor by your attitudes and actions?

Me neither. I was just curious. (more…)

My wife and I recently went for a marriage retreat at the Parish Hermitage. We really needed it. I really needed it. I was not in a good place regarding my marriage, and my wife and my marriage were suffering for it. And the two things that really blow me away about this are 1. that I felt genuinely justified in my position and 2. I regularly emphasize to my clients that marriage is at its best when you focus and work on yourself, rather than focusing and attempting to work on your spouse. And even though I knew this stuff in my mind, my heart and spirit had gotten twisted around backward and I felt truly stuck - not yet hopeless, but really and truly stuck. Yuck!!!

I am so grateful and humbled to share with you that the Spirit of God worked in a powerful way over the last week, and especially through this weekend, to open the eyes of my heart and bring me to a renewed place as a husband, through repentence and healing. I am grateful to Eddie and Judy Parish for their continuing joyful willingness to share their rich gifts of hospitality, spiritual discernment, and loving grace. And I am grateful to my wife for going to the hard places with me by being open, vulnerable, and real.

And my soul and my marriage are renewed. My hope has once again taken flight and my spirit feels free to flap its wings in freedom and joy. Thank you, LORD!!!

I share this glimpse of my personal journey with you for a couple of reasons. First, I want you to know that we all struggle in life and relationships - even us professional experts. Struggling is okay. It is universal. At least when we are struggling, we show evidence that we are hoping for something better. Second, I want to encourage you that you really do not have to wait on your spouse to make some kind of changes so you can have a better marriage experience. You can improve your marriage experience right now, starting today! You can choose to stop dwelling on what you see as the shortcomings in your spouse or the injustices in your marriage, and you can choose to place your focus on improving yourself as a spouse and finding joy in blessing your mate, whether or not he/she seems to “deserve” it right now.

I must say, I am amazed at the difference I experience in my peace, joy, and marital satisfaction, when I “practice what I preach” to my clients on a regular basis. I shouldn’t be amazed. I share these perspectives with them, because I know it is the best way to live - in marriage and all other relationships. But knowing the Truth and living the Truth take vastly different amounts of willingness and self-discipline. And by the way, our time at the retreat made it clear to my that I was the one who had the most changing to do. The minor “flaws” I had pegged in my wife were far eclipsed by the disgruntled attitude I was blindly wielding to the harm of each of us and our marriage. Repentance, joy, and grace are not just nice terms from the language of Christianity. They are POWERFUL forces for life transformation, my friends!

For more guidance along these lines, I highly recommend “Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More than to Make Us Happy” by Gary Thomas and “ScreamFree Marriage” (audio) by Hal Runkel. And while you’re at it, you might want to round out the resource package with “Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Committed Relationships” by David Schnarch.