HopeForYourFamily

Are you facing challenges in your family this summer that could use some expert guidance?

Have you discovered a wonderful experience, activity, place to go, or routine that works great for your family, and is worth sharing with others?

Would it just be really cool to have YOUR topic shared on TV?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, I would love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts, questions, experiences, or suggestions with me at Roger@hopeforyourfamily.com, or feel free to add your comments to this post (after you have registered as a user on my site). I will email you back personally with my perspectives, and consider using your topic on my next WAFB Parenting 101 interview coming up on the last Tuesday of June at 6:15 am.

I look forward to hearing from you!

With Hope - Roger

Here’s a link to a terrific resource for setting the right tone for family life this summer.

Make it a MediaWise Summer!

This post has a very simple message:

When your child (or grandchild, niece, nephew, neighbor child, etc) wants you to join him/her to play with water balloons and sprinklers and trampolines in the backyard, and you really don’t feel like it and would rather just go inside and crash on the recliner…

Go for the backyard water play with the kid! A year from now, you won’t remember any particular time you flopped on the La-Z-Boy. But you will remember the splashy fun times with the youngun, and so will your child.

And, frankly, if you’ve never jumped on a trampoline with a high-octane four year old and about thirty water balloons - it’s time you tried it. Trust me.

A couple nights ago, my wife and I had an intense extended discussion about several points of different perspective, with which we both have very strong emotional connections. Well, I guess some might call that a fight. Two mornings later, I am extremely grateful for two things in particular that I see growing in each of us in our marriage relationship, two foundational elements which I emphasize with my clients in marriage therapy.

It is good for us to openly express our perspectives with one another, even if it leads to a “fight.” It gives us a chance to grow as individuals and as a couple. Just as the muscles in our bodies grow stronger and healthier by being stretched and challenged, so do our attitudes and relationships grow through being pushed beyond our comfort zones. Did I agree with everything my wife said to me in our discussion? No. Did I like everything my wife said to me? No, indeed! (including things I did not and did agree with, I have to admit) Did I need to hear everything she shared with me? Yes, sir! In fact, (more…)

Okay, in fairness to my Marriage 1.0 and 1.1 posts, this one challenges a “funny” email from a male perspective. Here is the email, followed by my comments:

“Earl and Bubba (feel free to insert Boudreaux and Thibodeaux if that works better for you) are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing, and drinking beer, when suddenly Bubba says, ‘I think I’m gonna divorce my wife - she ain’t spoke to me in over two months.’

Earl spits, sips his beer, and says, ‘Better think it over. Women like that are hard to find.’”

And the hilarious message is…marriage would be great if women just shut up and didn’t bother us husbands by talking to us. Now there’s intimacy at its finest! Sure, there are plenty of women who would do well to learn to not try so hard to change their husbands, or to understand when to just remain quiet and appreciate the silent connection. And the same could be said of many men as well. Again, I believe this “funny” email represents a common marital challenge. With the right perspective and effort on the part of both husbands and wives, this frequent source of tension can be greatly transformed to facilitate the kind of intimacy men and women both desire in marriage.

It is amazing what kind of healthy changes happen in a marriage when a spouse who “talks too much” can learn to stop actively trying to change their mate to fit into the mold of their choosing. However, this can be hard to let go of when one’s spouse seems to frequently engage in behaviors that just seem so intolerable to you. But consider this…how often has your “nagging” or “badgering” (could be wife or husband) actually created the desired change in your spouse? Doesn’t it usually just lead either to big conflict or to silent separation, often followed by an actual increase in the detested behavior? Or sometimes the behavior does decrease or change, but is accompanied by so much complaining or passive-aggressive jabbing that you end up wishing your spouse were still doing the first thing and you had never made it an issue. Sound familiar to anyone?

I know this goes against the grain of your natural impulse (it certainly does mine), but watch what happens when you decide to (more…)

The last year or so has been a season of growth and transformation in my life. If I had to summarize this time with one word, I guess I would have to go with “FREEDOM.” The great paradox of this experience has been discovering that the pathway to true freedom comes through total surrender. Not that I have achieved a status of total surrender, but I am striving more for it every day. And as I further surrender my will and my life and my relationships to the Lordship of Christ, God grants me greater freedom and His Spirit empowers me to experience greater heights of joy, purpose, and fulfillment. In the spirit of my ongoing quest for freedom in Christ, I want to share a few recent reflections and insights regarding much of my past journey as a Christian.

Much of my life as a Christian and church member has been driven by a desire for safety. With a belief in the Christian teachings regarding the three-in-one God, Satan, heaven, hell, sin, salvation, and such, I think my aim has been to search the Bible for the correct formula to guide my actions (and to a lesser degree my mind and heart) in such a way that will keep me safe from the terrible consequences of sin and the generally dissipated condition of this fallen world. The formula I have followed (or at least attempted to follow) has been very religious and certainly addresses very spiritual issues. And I really believe if I was a better man, a truly righteous man by nature, this formulaic approach to spiritual safety would be quite sufficient for living an exemplary life that would please God greatly and offer a high standard that others should follow.

The problem is - I am not a truly righteous man by nature. I am sinful by nature. I have such twisted places in my heart, mind, and spirit that I am absolutely incapable of following any prescribed plan of living in such a way that I can keep my self safe from the ravages of sin and the sinful world in which I live. I am increasingly realizing that the pursuit of safety, no matter how religious or seemingly spiritual the means, will ultimately fail. (see John 5:16-47, especially verse 39) A sinful man cannot keep himself safe. I’m gonna level with you, here. This has been a highly unnerving eye-opener for me! It would seem my whole framework for living has failed me and left me naked and doomed in a dangerous world made worse by the sinful nature that continues to burst forth from within me.

But I have great hope!

For underneath this religious pursuit of safety I have found the answer. I first had to rethink my question. “What must I do to be safe?” Thirty plus years of pursuing an answer to this question had left me enslaved to both a way of life that appeared righteous and a way of life that was totally limited by MY woefully lacking ability to achieve righteousness for my self. So I now thank God for bringing me to freedom by beginning with a new question, “What must I do to be saved?” And the answer is so simple it is jarring. I must put my faith in Jesus. For by the grace of God, through the power of Christ, the one and only risen from the dead son of God, I am set free from the bondage of sin and the slavery of self-righteousness.

The really amazing thing for me is that now that I am clear on the only source of my salvation, and no longer wasting my focus and energy on the self-righteous pursuit of safety, I am free to pursue a full relationship with Christ and to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness. And I am coming to believe that my salvation in Christ does NOT guarantee my safety, for this is still a dark and dangerous world, and I serve a King who leads his subjects into wild adventures that frequently include sacrifice, suffering, and death. And I am now eager to follow the High King wherever He calls and leads me, for “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

With Hope in Him,

Roger