HopeForYourFamily

My post on this Friday is a short one.  I am preparing to take what has become a semi-annual trip with my wife to the Parish Hermitage in St. Amant, LA.  Sometimes we have “issues” to work on.  This one was planned around our 11 year wedding anniversary - no issues!  However, we now find ourselves carrying a painful burden for a loved one.  I am in need of some recharging, encouragement, and quiet space - I need some restoration.  I know God can provide this to anyone, anywhere, anytime.  But He sure seems to do a lot of restoring out at the Hermitage!  I am deeply grateful to God for the Parish family and the way they continue to use their wonderful gifts in such loving obedience to God and service to fellow strugglers on the journey.  If you are longing for restoration in your life - in your heart, your mind, your emotions, your career, your marriage, your church, I recommend you give serious consideration to a visit to the Parish Hermitage.

With Hope,

Roger

Today I was discussing with a client how important REAL FRIENDS are in times of hardship and crisis.  She has one such friend in her life, and we sadly agreed that many people don’t even have one friend with whom they can be truly open.  Let’s face it - alone is Hell.  God said in the very beginning, after making the first man, Adam, “It’s not good for man to be alone.”  In the great wisdom book of Ecclesiastes, the author tells us to “pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.”  We need friends.  We need people we can trust to accept us and love us when we take off our masks and come out from behind our walls and get Real.  We need friends.

I talk to so many hurting people who feel so alone.  Sometimes their actual problems aren’t as bad as the pain of facing those problems alone.  Alone is Hell.  We need friends.  It is truly astonishing the amount of hope that stirs in a human spirit, simply by having someone enter into one’s most vulnerable space and state clearly (with or without words), “I’m here with you.”  What a gift to be wandering blindly through a terrible storm of life, and to realize a trusted friend has quietly joined you with an umbrella and a light and no words of condemnation!  Or the profound comfort in awaking in a hospital bed to realize the calm presence of the person beside you is not your doctor, but your friend.  Or the friend who loves you enough to sit quietly beside you because no words can heal your hurt, when all others have abandoned you because no words can heal your hurt.  And don’t forget the simple, yet fulfilling joy of talking and laughing and sharing things with a true friend in ways that would lead others to think you strange, while your friend truly enjoys these moments as uniquely you.

Take a minute to consider if you have been blessed to have one or more REAL FRIENDS.  If so, please let them know how much they mean to you.  You may assume they understand without it having to be said.  Say it anyway.  Can you imagine your life without that friend?  I would like to take a few moments to say thanks to my REAL FRIENDS.  As I pause and reflect, I realize God has given me more than most… (more…)

I have committed, along with a good friend, to regularly reading (and finishing!) good books.  I love acquiring good books, particularly ones that show promise in helping me grow in my walk with Christ and in my relationships with family and others.  Unfortunately, I often get no further than the first couple chapters (or even the front cover) before I set the book aside for a newer acquisition - or purely out of distraction.  Having the same pattern in his life, my buddy and I are setting forth on a new adventure together to read good books through to completion.  We will be reading Christian books of various kinds, classic literary works, and other books that we just happen to find appealing.  But with all this focus on books, I think it is touching something else in my life - something deeper.  It occurs to me that this is really about much more than reaching the back cover of a particular selection.  It is about self-discipline, a dedication to real personal growth, and persistence in staying focused on goals.  These are sometimes real struggles in my life - maybe you can relate.  And so I believe the impact of this reading journey will be much greater than becoming more widely read.  I expect to achieve greater self-discipline in other areas.  I anticipate becoming more focused on what matters and less distracted by things that don’t matter (TV, anyone?).  And I trust that in the process, I will be forging a strong friendship and brotherhood that will be a blessing to both of us and our households.

My encouragement to you - find out where you need to grow, find someone that is willing to grow with you, then do the work and rely on God every step of the way!

Click here (Three Year Reading Plan) for suggestions of some of the very best in Christian reading, according to a very distinguished panel of today’s top Christian leaders (as listed in David McKenna’s “How to Read a Christian Book.”)

What is the most important thing you can do for your struggling teen?  Be there.  What is the best thing you can do for your frustrated spouse?  Be there.  How can you help that friend of yours who is hurting and confused?  Be there. 

We each need so much for someone to be there for us.  To be available in physical presence.  To support us emotionally.  To challenge us when we need a wake-up call.  To listen when we need to talk.

This doesn’t mean you have to be some kind of expert, have all the right answers, or even have a lot to say.  Often times, the most important thing we need from someone is for them to just be there.  Really being there may mean making good eye contact while listening.  It may mean resisting the urge to interrupt or to speak up just to fill an uncomfortable silence.  It may mean turning off a cell phone or a TV or whatever to let the other one know how much they really matter.  It may mean cancelling an appointment.  It may mean giving a hug.  It may mean writing a heartfelt email or even a letter with a stamp on it.  It may mean putting the other person’s thoughts into your own words to let them know you really hear them as they share their heart with you.  It may mean playing a video game you have absolutely no interest in.  It may mean calling a babysitter and going out for that date.  It may mean being available sexually to your spouse.  It may mean asking, “How can I be there for you?”  Whatever the details, being there means considering the other person and making yourself and your energy avaiable to them in ways that are good for them.

Remember the last time someone was there for you?  It made a difference, didn’t it?  Be there!

For further reading on this topic, check out “Be There: Making Deep, Lasting Connections in a Disconnected World” by Dr. John Trent.