HopeForYourFamily

Forgiveness is an issue I must deal with on a frequent basis, because of my work as a marriage and family therapist. However, let’s face it - it is something we all must address at some point in our lives, probably many times throughout our lives. We live in a fallen world. We disappoint, hurt, and betray one another - spouses, family, friends, neighbors, enemies, co-workers, teammates, and any other relational context in which we find ourselves. And if we are to survive the human experience in any kind of healthy way, we must learn to forgive. Following are some of the things I have learned about the difficult and powerful process of forgiveness: (more…)

It has been almost a full three weeks since my last post. As I was reflecting on why this is, it occurred to me. My life has been really full. Not in a frantic, can’t slow down, can’t catch up, I’m running ragged and feeling frazzled kind of way.

Full, as in: I just finished a great meal at Lambert’s Cafe and enjoyed every bite. I spent several hours on the beach and at the pool today with my family and friends and we had a great time. (Our vacation last week was tremendously refreshing!) Went to the movies last night with a good friend and enjoyed another good rendering of comic books to big screen. Working hard with my wife to help our son master potty training. My wife and I drawing closer together as we share our lives with a friend. Managing a full case load at my counseling office, but still enjoying a 45 hour work week. Getting more involved with my neighborhood as we try to re-establish good leadership in our neighborhood association. Stepping back up to lead worship on a regular basis at our church. Generally enjoying summertime with my family. And the list could surely go on.

So, for now - I am full and content. And posting on my website has somehow taken a back seat. But I’m back at it now, so look for me to get back into a rhythm of offering weekly insights into better relationships and general living. Tune in tomorrow (Tuesday, June 26) to WAFB at 7:15 for my Parenting 101 segment on the MySpace/Facebook generation.

ps - OOOPS!!! The Parenting 101 segment is always at 6:15 am, not 7:15 am. Hope I didn’t throw anyone a curveball with my typo. As soon as WAFB.com uploads the interview video from today, I will post it on my Parenting 101 page.

Last Friday I had an opportunity to take the son of some good friends of ours with me for an afternoon at the Bluebonnet Swamp. They are basically family to us, so he is like a nephew to me. I was looking forward to the afternoon for several weeks, since we first discussed the possibility. He is always a lot of fun. He is a very smart boy, and, frankly, you never know what he is going to say. However, the truth is, I really felt like I was doing something for him more than he would be doing anything for me. He loves bugs and critters and wildlife, and had never been to the Bluebonnet Swamp. This was an opportunity for me to share something with him that he was sure to love. Little did I know how much I would learn from him!

Even though I love casually strolling along the path through the swamp and woods when I go by myself, for some reason I felt compelled to move along more quickly with my buddy there. I guess I wanted to be able to show him all there is to see. To put it simply - he went at a much slower pace. At first, I felt a bit frustrated. As Willy Wonka put it, “There’s so much time and so little to see! Strike that. Reverse it.” (more…)

Q - How do I know if my child is ready for a “sleep-away” camp?

A - Most children can handle the away from home camp experience around age 8, 9, or 10. Certainly, your child’s personality is a big factor. Some are more independent, while others are more “homebodies.” However, one of the most important factors is whether or not YOU, the parent, are ready for your child to go away to camp. If the thought of sending your child to a camp away from home makes you nervous, consider starting him/her at a day camp at an earlier age. This can help get both of you ready for the big transition. Also, don’t start with a camp that lasts for a big chunk of the summer - one week is a reasonable length for the first big camp experience.

Q - How can I prepare my child for camp?

A - Talk about it well before the time comes, and keep the conversation positive. Emphasize the fun and the new experiences, adventures, and friendships your child will discover at camp. Empower your child by letting your child know how much you believe in her/him. The two most important skills your child needs to ensure a positive camp experience are both relational: 1. respecting and obeying authorities, and 2. treating others with respect. Obviously, these are attributes that won’t be developed overnight, and should be foundational in the day to day raising and training of children.

Q - Why should I send my child away to camp?

A - There are so many great benefits of the camp experience! Children have an opportunity to develop a greater sense of healthy independence, which will serve them well for life. Many new skills and activities can be learned at camp, from crafts to sports to group games to fun songs and skits. Kids really get to grow in new ways at camp. It is also an opportunity to expose your children to the benefits of healthy mentors - people other than parents that are willing to invest time in kids to help them grow up well. Camp offers the vital element of allowing kids to take risks - both physical and social - in a supervised and encouraging environment. Boys and girls both need the chance to take risks to help them mature and develop a strong sense of self-confidence and positive identity. Another increasingly important element of camp is the break it offers kids from electronic entertainment and gadgetry. No TV, internet, movies, or video games. Trust me, this is a really healthy break for your children and teens. And even if your camp allows cell phones, I strongly recommend keeping them at home. If there is an emergency, believe me, the camp will get in touch with you. Otherwise, you and your child could both benefit from cutting the electronic string for a week or so. Which brings me to the final camp benefit - it offers parents an opportunity to take a parenting vacation. You deserve it, and shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying it. It is healthy for you and for your kids.

Q - What kind of camp choices are there? (more…)

My post on this Friday is a short one.  I am preparing to take what has become a semi-annual trip with my wife to the Parish Hermitage in St. Amant, LA.  Sometimes we have “issues” to work on.  This one was planned around our 11 year wedding anniversary - no issues!  However, we now find ourselves carrying a painful burden for a loved one.  I am in need of some recharging, encouragement, and quiet space - I need some restoration.  I know God can provide this to anyone, anywhere, anytime.  But He sure seems to do a lot of restoring out at the Hermitage!  I am deeply grateful to God for the Parish family and the way they continue to use their wonderful gifts in such loving obedience to God and service to fellow strugglers on the journey.  If you are longing for restoration in your life - in your heart, your mind, your emotions, your career, your marriage, your church, I recommend you give serious consideration to a visit to the Parish Hermitage.

With Hope,

Roger

Check out my Parenting 101 page to see my latest interview and read the Q & A regarding children/adolescents and self-injury.

Well, I knew Earth Day 2007 was coming this week, but I didn’t realize it was yesterday. When it dawned on me today, I felt a bit disappointed I had done nothing to officially mark the day - although I continue to work at being mindful of caring for our planet, people, and resources on a daily basis. But then, I realized my family actually celebrated the day about as effectively as anyone could. On Saturday and Sunday, my wife and son and I were gathered with a group of other families from our church, having our annual family retreat at Camp Smiling Acres. And if you ask anyone who attended, they will tell you where my son was the whole time - on the big pile of dirt. So, I guess we really did have a great Earth Day awareness activity. With no television in sight, out in the natural beauty of camp, we celebrated with him as he conquered the “mountain.” And it gave me a deep sense of hope and contentment, knowing my son is more enthralled by a big mound of earth than by the latest toy and gaming gadgetry. All it cost us was a couple pairs of socks! (Trust me, anyone who could have brought those socks back to whiteness deserves their own infomercial.)