HopeForYourFamily

My good friend, Blaine, the youth minister at our church, has informed me that I am the one out of the loop.  MySpace is still big, but Facebook is rapidly becoming the big boy on the online community block.

If you are not familiar with MySpace, you are out of the loop. If you are a parent of children under the age of 25 or so, and you are not familiar with MySpace…Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Stop right now and take time to get educated. A good parent tutorial is available through the National Institute on Media and the Family, a source I highly recommend for equipping parents and families on a wide range of media/family related issues. Another great resource for research based information and recommendations regarding families, entertainment, and health is the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. A third excellent resource is the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. But encouraging you to familiarize yourself with this huge online community is not really the point of today’s post. I want to share some reflections/lessons I have taken from my experience of MySpace (not actually having a MySpace page myself).

1. Our young people are desperate for relationships. Just look at the size of the “friends” list on the typical MySpace page, and how quickly it grows in the course of a month. Parents and other mentors, this is a great opportunity for us! Provided you approach them with a genuine love and acceptance for who they are, and a healthy respect for the importance of their friends in their lives, your children really are thirsty for a relationship with you. Don’t be intimidated by the electronic gadgetry of their lives. Be there.

2. Music is so personal and important in the lives of our young people. Spend any time navigating the waters of MySpace, and you will hear an amazing array of musical styles, themes, and expressions. Listen to the music. Hear the words of the songs (www.azlyrics.com is a helpful resource). Feel the emotions. Like it or not, this is the expression of their hearts and lives. Don’t just dismiss it or condemn it. Take it to heart, and let it lead you closer to the hearts of the young people you love.

3. Young people are willingly making their lives “open books.” The question is…will we invest the time it takes to read them?

4. Young people are spending vast amounts of time online. Look at how much work is put into MySpace pages, and how constant the dialog is on the message boards. Although I recognize there are multiple reasons for the growing obesity epidemic in America, particularly among young people, spending hours a day online has got to be a big factor.

5. Young people are creating their own world, language, and view of life - and it is a whole other reality from the general adult culture. For a much deeper, and not particularly pleasant, insight into this phenomenon, read “Hurt: Inside the World of Today’s Teenager” by Chap Clark.

6. YOUNG PEOPLE NEED YOU! There is no better place to invest your time and energy than in our children and adolescents - and you don’t have to stop with your own. They need us to be there for them, loving and guiding and accepting and challenging and believing in them. Many are literally dying for us to invest in them. When you have a few minutes, and you are ready to be inspired, check out www.makeadifferencemovie.com (OK, the music and narrator’s voice are a little cheesy and may remind you of “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy,” but don’t let that keep the story from inspiring you.)

With Hope - Always,

Roger

Our children are watching, listening, learning, and imitating us.  My secretary sent me this powerful video today, and I want to share it with you.

Children See

As the father of a three year old, I am becoming increasingly aware of the tremendous impact of my life on my son.  What an awesome power we have for good or evil!

I write this post on St. Patrick’s Day, after having spent the morning with my family at my first ever parade in Baton Rouge.  While I had never really heard much about the St. Patty’s Day parade, I’ve heard about the legendary Mardi Gras parades of South Louisiana for years.  From what I could tell, this was pretty much the same thing - but with cheaper floats and the crowd looking like they just stepped out of the Emerald City.  As I stood there on Perkins Road with my family, taking it all in, I tried to figure out what was really the point of it all.  And I think the main point was this:

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Today I was discussing with a client how important REAL FRIENDS are in times of hardship and crisis.  She has one such friend in her life, and we sadly agreed that many people don’t even have one friend with whom they can be truly open.  Let’s face it - alone is Hell.  God said in the very beginning, after making the first man, Adam, “It’s not good for man to be alone.”  In the great wisdom book of Ecclesiastes, the author tells us to “pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.”  We need friends.  We need people we can trust to accept us and love us when we take off our masks and come out from behind our walls and get Real.  We need friends.

I talk to so many hurting people who feel so alone.  Sometimes their actual problems aren’t as bad as the pain of facing those problems alone.  Alone is Hell.  We need friends.  It is truly astonishing the amount of hope that stirs in a human spirit, simply by having someone enter into one’s most vulnerable space and state clearly (with or without words), “I’m here with you.”  What a gift to be wandering blindly through a terrible storm of life, and to realize a trusted friend has quietly joined you with an umbrella and a light and no words of condemnation!  Or the profound comfort in awaking in a hospital bed to realize the calm presence of the person beside you is not your doctor, but your friend.  Or the friend who loves you enough to sit quietly beside you because no words can heal your hurt, when all others have abandoned you because no words can heal your hurt.  And don’t forget the simple, yet fulfilling joy of talking and laughing and sharing things with a true friend in ways that would lead others to think you strange, while your friend truly enjoys these moments as uniquely you.

Take a minute to consider if you have been blessed to have one or more REAL FRIENDS.  If so, please let them know how much they mean to you.  You may assume they understand without it having to be said.  Say it anyway.  Can you imagine your life without that friend?  I would like to take a few moments to say thanks to my REAL FRIENDS.  As I pause and reflect, I realize God has given me more than most… (more…)

If you are a parent, step-parent, teacher, childcare worker, or anyone who has a heart for raising children, and you live near the Baton Rouge area, you really should register today for “Parenting in the 21st Century.”  The event is THIS WEEKEND, on Friday night and Saturday (January 19-20) at First Presbyterian Church in downtown Baton Rouge.  Featured speakers include John Rosemond (nationally syndicated parenting columnist and author of several best-selling parenting books), Jill Rigby (Baton Rouge’s own nationally recognized parenting expert and author), Eva Marie Everson (author of “Sex, Lies, and the Media” and “Sex, Lies, and High School.”, Debbie Ward (North America Director of MotherWise), and more.  The cost is very reasonable, at $40/individual or $70/couple.  For more information, or to register, click here.  I would also encourage you to pass on this information to anyone else who might benefit from this great opportunity.

This week is Thanksgiving week, a time for seeing family, enjoying great food, counting our blessings, savoring annual traditions…and joining the mad rush for the latest, greatest Christmas presents.  With the explosion of MP3 players, portable satellite radios, widescreen hi-def televisions, next generation video game systems, and more - this shopping season promises to mean big bucks for Santa’s elves in the gizmo department.  And isn’t that what it’s really all about?:  Getting the latest cool stuff.  Impressing family and friends with your technosavvy.  Picking out just the right gift that will wow the socks off the recipient.  Boosting the national economy.  Feeling that sense of satisfaction at watching the kids rip open enough presents to entertain half the city for the next three years.

No, that’s not what it’s all about!!!

Oh, there’s nothing wrong with giving and receiving nice things for Christmas.  It’s a cool tradition that I happen to enjoy, and can be very meaningful - even healing.  But if that is the heart of your Christmas holiday season, you are missing out on the best things in life.  This week, I would like to share with you some suggestions for Christmas presents that will bring lasting joy and memories FAR beyond anything you can buy at Wal-Mart or Best Buy or E-bay.  I sincerely hope you will use my Christmas gift list and make this a holiday that really touches someone.  You never know, YOU may be the one most deeply changed by your efforts to give something real and meaningful this year. (more…)