HopeForYourFamily

Many things happen in our lives that are beyond our control. I fully recognize this. To believe otherwise is to live in a fantasy world. And yet, so much of our experience of life is within our control and influence. I appreciate the rich wisdom of the “Serenity Prayer,” made very popular through the 12-step addiction recovery programs:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Today I want to focus on how much power we do have over our own lives and experiences. So much of who we are, who we become, and what we experience in life is driven by what we believe about ourselves, one another, and life in general. The best way to find out what someone really believes is not to ask philosophical questions about their worldview. Just look at their life and actions. We act on what we believe, regardless of what we say we believe.

For example… (more…)

Normally when I make movie recommendations, it is to rent a video and watch it at home, typically for some “therapeutic” value. Let’s face it - watching movies on the big screen costs a fortune these days, and a lot of it is junk. Having said that…

You need to see Spiderman 3!!! This is not about being amazed by the special effects or the thrill of seeing comic book heroes and villains come to life at the theater. It’s about watching a Hollywood film with great moral messages. The themes in this summer blockbuster are obvious and in your face - and really fantastic. I salute the makers and producers of this great movie for challenging us to live lives of self-sacrifice, righteousness, and forgiveness, rather than the selfishness, wickedness, and bitterness that seem to be consuming our culture much like a sticky blob of black tar that crawls around looking for someone already headed down the wrong path…OK, I’ll let you go watch it for yourself.

Check out my “Therapeutic Movie Recommendations” page for more recommendations and helpful resources and links regarding using movies for insight and inspiration.

My wife and I recently spent a weekend away together at the Parish Hermitage. Our time there was all that we hoped it would be. God’s Spirit breathed into us just what we needed at this time in our lives. And it all started with a storm.

As we stopped for an early lunch of burgers at Riverside Patty on the way out to St. Amant, we knew the dark, foreboding cloud-cover meant a big storm was on the way. We had barely made it through the doors to place our order when the bottom fell out and we got a downpour like nothing I’ve experienced in years. We both agreed it was fitting for our mood - somber, heavy-hearted, weary, and burdened. The storm really seemed the perfect way for us to begin our retreat. We made it safely to the Hermitage, dashed into our guesthouse, and sat out on the patio, taking in the fury and the beauty of the storm. As we sat together, considering and discussing what God might be preparing to teach us, I realized He was already speaking to me through the storm. I heard several important life lessons about storms as I sat there with my wife and God:

1. When the storms of life rage intensely, it is good to have shelter with someone you love and trust.

2. Storms don’t just bring danger. They also bring new life.

3. Storms have a way of cleaning away trash and debris from our lives.

4. Storms are very good at interrupting our plans and making us stop and just be.

5. Storms never last forever.

6. Storms make us aware of our own weakness and God’s power.

7. Heavy storms never leave the landscape like they found it. Some things break and fall, while other things are uncovered and rise up.

8. There is a time for seeking shelter, and a time for stepping out to face the landscape.

As you encounter the storms of your life, I sincerely hope you will reach out to God and receiving His loving shelter and guidance. Sometimes that reaching out includes reaching out to another person God has provided for you. If you need someone to be there in your storm, feel free to call on me.

With Hope - Roger

ps - Click here to read my previous post, “Surviving the Storms in Life.”

Although I’ve never been to medical school, people come to my office every day for cardiology exams. Most of the time, they don’t even know they have a heart condition, but the symptoms have finally compelled them to seek help. And their complaints sound something like this:

He just doesn’t listen to me!

She really doesn’t care about me anymore!

I’m sick of all the fighting.

etc…etc…etc

The list of specific complaints, issues, frustrations, and problems is a long one. However, I have learned that there is frequently a common source of the marital “sickness.” Someone in this marriage (often both spouses) has a heart condition. Jesus wisely explains to us that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The way we speak and act in any relationship, certainly including marriage, is going to be a reflection of our inner life. Our attitudes and character, frequently referred to in scripture as our “heart,” is what drives the actions of our lives and who we are in our relationships. (more…)

This week, my family and I will be fasting.  Not just any old fast, either.  This one will really hit where it hurts - it’s National TV Turnoff Week!  See last year’s post to appreciate the implications of this.  The good news is, my son has developed a much greater love of the outdoors - exploring, swimming, climbing, etc.  Here’s hoping our family has grown less hooked on TV since last year.  We’ll see.

For many couples and families, turning off the TV can be one of the most powerful, life changing, life giving, relationship renewing, physically healthy, spiritually healthy moves we can make.  You don’t realize how much of your life you give to TV until you pull the plug for a week.  Will you join me?  Check out the Center for Screentime Awareness for testimonies, insipiration, statistics, and suggestions for how to fill in the TV gaps this week.  And please, send me your stories at the end of the week.

Be strong!

Roger

Many of you were in the same place I was at some point today (Easter Sunday) - at church.  The celebration of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead is the central hope and foundation of the Christian faith.  His new life brings the promise of new life to us today, to all who call on his name and give our lives in service to the High King.  The hope and promise of Easter Sunday is eternal life, joy, and blessings beyond measure.  No wonder we call it Good News!

And yet, so many of us living with this hope face our days with a spirit of sombre obligation.  What do I have to do today?  What demands must be met?  What might go wrong?  How close am I to living up to someone else’s expectations?  Is this all there is?  Even in our worship services together at church we can so easily bring this same demeanor of going through the motions and just doing what we have to do.  Our Easter service this morning was nice.  We sang some pretty songs and dwelt on the power of the resurrection of Christ.  But I didn’t really see or feel a genuine spirit of celebration in anyone.  Grateful?  Yes.  Happy?  Oh, many looked happy.  Hopeful?  I definitely saw hopefulness around me.  But genuine celebration?  Not really.  Why is this? (more…)

Typical daily life in America today is stressful. And hectic. And difficult. And busy.

So many challenges to face. So many schedules to keep. So many demanding people.

Rising gas prices. Rising insurance costs. Rising housing costs.

Mark Schultz captures this way of life well in his song, “Running Just to Catch Myself.”

With all these pressures on us every day, it is easy to give in to stress, anxiety, or fear, and compromise our integrity - to act in ways that do not fit who we really want to be. I’m stressed with a mountain of work, so I yell at my wife. The computer crashed, so I lash out at my child, immediately blaming him. The big deadline is here, so I lie to get through it. The kids are driving me crazy, so I become sarcastic and hurtful with my husband. I don’t like the way things are going at church, so I begin grumbling and gossiping. It’s tax time, and money is really tight - surely the IRS won’t catch this. I’m afraid of getting that intimidating reaction from you-know-who, so I keep quiet when I know I should speak up. I become more concerned with peacekeeping (not the same as peacemaking) than with speaking the truth in love. All compromises that leave us disappointed with the one in the mirror at the end of the day, if we stop to take a look. (Another song, “The Chasing Song” by Andrew Peterson, captures this well for me.)

There is an ancient prayer tradition called “centering.” While there are many variations and methods, it is essentially a means of stilling your mind and spirit, and inviting God to bring you to a place of calm strength. It is a Christian form of meditation. Some will focus on an image that draws them near God. Others will choose one word to repeat over and over. In contrast to other forms of meditation, the goal is not to empty oneself, so much as to be guided by God, held by the Holy Spirit, captivated by Christ. From this centered place of holy strength and calm, one can then face whatever challenges life has in store.

I’d like to get very personal with you, here. (more…)