HopeForYourFamily

Roger D. Butner, PhD, LMFT is a Christian marriage and family therapist.
When your spouse says something to you that gets you feeling defensive, try this: Calmly say something like "So, you are feeling ____" or "You really need _____." When you disagree with your spouse, they are always more likely to listen to your perspective if you start by letting them know you hear where they are coming from.

Dr. Butner's Tips for a Better Life

Bracing and Praying

Just a quick note to let everyone (who isn’t a Facebook friend) know we are staying in Baton Rouge and bracing for Gustav, as of 9:30 Sunday night.  My family, along with my fellow South Louisianians are grateful for your prayers.  I’ll be posting again as soon as I can after the storm passes.

With Hope, Roger

UPDATE 6:35am, Labor Day - Getting windy around here, but so far no big deal.  From watching the excellent news coverage on WAFB, I am extremely impressed with how well our state has learned its lessons from Katrina and Rita - from state officials to local officials to the terrific citizens of South Louisiana.  From what I can tell, Cajun Country is as ready as possible for whatever Gustav brings our way.

UPDATE Deux 9:40am, Labor Day - Pretty major wind gusts around here, but Gustav looks to be taming to a level Baton Rouge will easily weather.  A big limb did come cracking down from the neighbor’s tree right across the street - thankfully bringing no property damage.  That tree looks like it may fare worse before this is over, but it looks to be the only one in jeopardy that I can see.  We’ve decided watching “The Challenge of the Superfriends” is a higher priority than watching the news at this point, if that tells you anything.  The worst has yet to hit, but we’re thankful to be expecting a much more reasonable worst than what folks thought a couple days ago.  Keep the prayers going!

Gustav 1 Gustav 2 Late morning.

Same Tree More Damage  Late afternoon - same tree.
UPDATE Three - 4:15pm Labor Day - Okay, I’ve got a whole new respect for hurricanes now, and we just saw “cat 1″ gusts in Baton Rouge.  This has been a wild day.  I’ll post more pictures when I can, but let’s just say the previous two were just a foreshadowing of what our neighborhood now looks like.  Thankfully, no damage to our home, vehicles, or selves, or to any of our neighbors that I can tell.  Next door neighboor will definitely need a re-roof job after the storm, but looks like he only lost shingles.  Thanks for your prayers.  We’re hoping for restored power ASAP.  :)

UPDATE Four - Friday, September 5 - I was finally able to upload a few pictures from after the storm.  I wish I’d made the effort to get more, better shots of everything.  But I guess I had a few things on my mind.

Our Oak Our live oak survived, but not without injury.

Honey Tree In the background is the “honey tree” I mentioned on the air which had a beehive and seven or eight full sheets of honeycomb inside.  It was a very large water oak which we have been nervously watching for years during heavy storms and mercifully fell into the yard and street without damaging any homes but the one within its cavernous hollow trunk.  It supplied a tasty afternoon snack and breakfast for the morning after the storm, but not without some stings.

Gustav Who  What Hurricane There is something to be said for the four year old response to a hurricane: 1. Help clean up for a little while.  2. Celebrate what remains by climbing the nearest intact tree.  3. Run and splash barefooted in the puddles with all your might.

Busted!

Ever have one of those times where you saw a problem, knew you needed to do something about it, and really searched all around for the source of the problem so you could make the right adjustment or find the right solution? And you really felt the pressure to figure this out, because you knew it was a serious matter? And you looked here, and you looked there, and you tried this, and you tried that, but you just couldn’t seem to get to the root and straighten things out?

And then you finally came to the painful, sobering, yet freeing realization that YOU were the source of the problem, or at least the biggest contributor by your attitudes and actions?

Me neither. I was just curious. (more…)