HopeForYourFamily

Check out my latest addition to the Parenting 101 page, “Want to be a Better Parent? Work on Your Marriage.” And remember to check out the new Parenting 101 page on WAFB.com, (accessible through the “9News This Morning” tab on the left column), and pass it on to others who might have an interest.

Merry Christmas!

Roger

I decided to sit down briefly at my computer this morning before my family and I really begin our Thanksgiving Day celebration of family, food, and fun.  (If you don’t count watching Clifford on PBS with laundry going in the dryer as part of the celebration.)  It occurs to me there are some significant ironies and lessons to be learned from this day we call Thanksgiving.  Ironic that in a land that affords so many of us such religious and social freedom, as well as opportunity and wealth, we have designated only one day to celebrate and say thanks for our many blessings.  Even more ironic that this special day has so evolved that its central feature is no longer expressing thanks to our loving Father in Heaven for giving us so many good gifts.  Now it seems for so many Americans the day is primarily about stuffing ourselves with, well. . .stuffing.  And turkey and ham and beans and potatoes and bread and pecan pie and all our favorite family recipes.  And let’s not forget my personal favorite - the cranberry “sauce” that comes straight out of the can with a slow ssshhhhluck, still in the shape of the can, that you then slice and eat to your heart’s delight.  And all of that is just the first trip through the kitchen buffet line.  Seconds, anyone?!!

So here is my encouragement to you on this Thanksgiving Day:  (more…)

As you might imagine, in my counseling practice I see a lot of power struggles, conflicts, and misbehavior. Things are not going well, so people seek professional guidance to improve their marriage or family relationships. (I also work with people on “individual” issues, but this post will focus on relationships.) As I ask questions and hear descriptions of relationship and behavior patterns, I inevitably hear a number of ways each individual has contributed to the problem. It is also quite common to hear a lot of excuses and blaming to explain away the misbehavior (and misbehavior can certainly take on many, many forms). Let me get real, here. I’ve done the same thing myself, plenty of times. But explaining away poor choices by way of making excuses and blaming others is never helpful to the relationship or to either individual. Let me say that again…

Explaining away poor choices by way of making excuses and blaming others is never helpful to the relationship or to either individual.

Oh, it might make you feel better for a while by bringing some temporary relief. It might get you out of a tight spot, and feeling like you got away with it this time. But it isn’t helpful. It isn’t healthy. It does not help you or your relationship to grow. Enough with the negative language. If you really want to improve your relationships - with your spouse, your child, your parents, your co-workers, or whoever - (more…)

Check out the new Parenting 101 page on WAFB.com! Thanks to Daniel and Cheryl and Jill at WAFB and Jill Rigby for the work they have put into bringing this page into reality. I look forward to seeing the new page develop in the coming weeks and months. If you like the page, and appreciate it, please pass on your thanks to WAFB. Enjoy, and God bless you as you keep working hard to raise your children well.

With Hope,

Roger