HopeForYourFamily

Many things happen in our lives that are beyond our control. I fully recognize this. To believe otherwise is to live in a fantasy world. And yet, so much of our experience of life is within our control and influence. I appreciate the rich wisdom of the “Serenity Prayer,” made very popular through the 12-step addiction recovery programs:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Today I want to focus on how much power we do have over our own lives and experiences. So much of who we are, who we become, and what we experience in life is driven by what we believe about ourselves, one another, and life in general. The best way to find out what someone really believes is not to ask philosophical questions about their worldview. Just look at their life and actions. We act on what we believe, regardless of what we say we believe.

For example… (more…)

I’m no economist. However, the solutions to rising gas prices that I am once again receiving in email forwards don’t seem to make economic sense to me. You’ve probably read them: “Let’s all boycott gas on this date!” “Don’t buy gas from the biggest companies!” etc. Instead, I recommend this: Check out one or more of the great low-gas-price websites each day before you go to fill up your tank - then buy the cheapest gas you can reasonably get. I’ve included some of the best links on the right column of my site under “Cheap Gas Links.” This way, you save money now, and use natural economic force to impact the bigger picture. But let’s not forget two other significant considerations. First of all, we pay far less for a tank of gas in the US than anywhere else in the world. Second, at some point we are all going to have to make other choices besides where to buy the cheapest gas - making less trips, carpooling, smaller vehicles, hybrid cars, bio-fuel, etc.  Basically, we are going to have to make some sacrifices and be inconvenienced - something we Americans don’t seem to do too well anymore.

With Hope,

Roger

Q - How do I know if my child is ready for a “sleep-away” camp?

A - Most children can handle the away from home camp experience around age 8, 9, or 10. Certainly, your child’s personality is a big factor. Some are more independent, while others are more “homebodies.” However, one of the most important factors is whether or not YOU, the parent, are ready for your child to go away to camp. If the thought of sending your child to a camp away from home makes you nervous, consider starting him/her at a day camp at an earlier age. This can help get both of you ready for the big transition. Also, don’t start with a camp that lasts for a big chunk of the summer - one week is a reasonable length for the first big camp experience.

Q - How can I prepare my child for camp?

A - Talk about it well before the time comes, and keep the conversation positive. Emphasize the fun and the new experiences, adventures, and friendships your child will discover at camp. Empower your child by letting your child know how much you believe in her/him. The two most important skills your child needs to ensure a positive camp experience are both relational: 1. respecting and obeying authorities, and 2. treating others with respect. Obviously, these are attributes that won’t be developed overnight, and should be foundational in the day to day raising and training of children.

Q - Why should I send my child away to camp?

A - There are so many great benefits of the camp experience! Children have an opportunity to develop a greater sense of healthy independence, which will serve them well for life. Many new skills and activities can be learned at camp, from crafts to sports to group games to fun songs and skits. Kids really get to grow in new ways at camp. It is also an opportunity to expose your children to the benefits of healthy mentors - people other than parents that are willing to invest time in kids to help them grow up well. Camp offers the vital element of allowing kids to take risks - both physical and social - in a supervised and encouraging environment. Boys and girls both need the chance to take risks to help them mature and develop a strong sense of self-confidence and positive identity. Another increasingly important element of camp is the break it offers kids from electronic entertainment and gadgetry. No TV, internet, movies, or video games. Trust me, this is a really healthy break for your children and teens. And even if your camp allows cell phones, I strongly recommend keeping them at home. If there is an emergency, believe me, the camp will get in touch with you. Otherwise, you and your child could both benefit from cutting the electronic string for a week or so. Which brings me to the final camp benefit - it offers parents an opportunity to take a parenting vacation. You deserve it, and shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying it. It is healthy for you and for your kids.

Q - What kind of camp choices are there? (more…)

Normally when I make movie recommendations, it is to rent a video and watch it at home, typically for some “therapeutic” value. Let’s face it - watching movies on the big screen costs a fortune these days, and a lot of it is junk. Having said that…

You need to see Spiderman 3!!! This is not about being amazed by the special effects or the thrill of seeing comic book heroes and villains come to life at the theater. It’s about watching a Hollywood film with great moral messages. The themes in this summer blockbuster are obvious and in your face - and really fantastic. I salute the makers and producers of this great movie for challenging us to live lives of self-sacrifice, righteousness, and forgiveness, rather than the selfishness, wickedness, and bitterness that seem to be consuming our culture much like a sticky blob of black tar that crawls around looking for someone already headed down the wrong path…OK, I’ll let you go watch it for yourself.

Check out my “Therapeutic Movie Recommendations” page for more recommendations and helpful resources and links regarding using movies for insight and inspiration.

My wife and I recently spent a weekend away together at the Parish Hermitage. Our time there was all that we hoped it would be. God’s Spirit breathed into us just what we needed at this time in our lives. And it all started with a storm.

As we stopped for an early lunch of burgers at Riverside Patty on the way out to St. Amant, we knew the dark, foreboding cloud-cover meant a big storm was on the way. We had barely made it through the doors to place our order when the bottom fell out and we got a downpour like nothing I’ve experienced in years. We both agreed it was fitting for our mood - somber, heavy-hearted, weary, and burdened. The storm really seemed the perfect way for us to begin our retreat. We made it safely to the Hermitage, dashed into our guesthouse, and sat out on the patio, taking in the fury and the beauty of the storm. As we sat together, considering and discussing what God might be preparing to teach us, I realized He was already speaking to me through the storm. I heard several important life lessons about storms as I sat there with my wife and God:

1. When the storms of life rage intensely, it is good to have shelter with someone you love and trust.

2. Storms don’t just bring danger. They also bring new life.

3. Storms have a way of cleaning away trash and debris from our lives.

4. Storms are very good at interrupting our plans and making us stop and just be.

5. Storms never last forever.

6. Storms make us aware of our own weakness and God’s power.

7. Heavy storms never leave the landscape like they found it. Some things break and fall, while other things are uncovered and rise up.

8. There is a time for seeking shelter, and a time for stepping out to face the landscape.

As you encounter the storms of your life, I sincerely hope you will reach out to God and receiving His loving shelter and guidance. Sometimes that reaching out includes reaching out to another person God has provided for you. If you need someone to be there in your storm, feel free to call on me.

With Hope - Roger

ps - Click here to read my previous post, “Surviving the Storms in Life.”

OK, one more comment for the week.  Today begins my official voyage into the Bluetooth era.  I recently purchased a stick-shift pickup truck, and was surprised at how much the cell phone quickly became an issue.  So, I got a snazzy new flip phone with a camera and Bluetooth capability, and immediately purchased the hundred dollar earpiece the Cingular guy recommended.  I have mused about how much cell phones are changing our society, and not for the better.  More recently, I have been struck by how these little magic Bluetooth earpieces seem to be getting a hold on people.  Well, let the self-righteousness come to an end.  I’m in the club.  It will be interesting to see if I can notice my own relational behavior, and how it is impacted by the $100 button on my ear.  I sincerely hope I will only be using the gizmo for my travels in my truck, and not walk around oblivious to the people all around me, but we’ll see.   Next thing you know, I’ll be typing away on a “CrackBerry!”  More later.