HopeForYourFamily

This week is Thanksgiving week, a time for seeing family, enjoying great food, counting our blessings, savoring annual traditions…and joining the mad rush for the latest, greatest Christmas presents.  With the explosion of MP3 players, portable satellite radios, widescreen hi-def televisions, next generation video game systems, and more - this shopping season promises to mean big bucks for Santa’s elves in the gizmo department.  And isn’t that what it’s really all about?:  Getting the latest cool stuff.  Impressing family and friends with your technosavvy.  Picking out just the right gift that will wow the socks off the recipient.  Boosting the national economy.  Feeling that sense of satisfaction at watching the kids rip open enough presents to entertain half the city for the next three years.

No, that’s not what it’s all about!!!

Oh, there’s nothing wrong with giving and receiving nice things for Christmas.  It’s a cool tradition that I happen to enjoy, and can be very meaningful - even healing.  But if that is the heart of your Christmas holiday season, you are missing out on the best things in life.  This week, I would like to share with you some suggestions for Christmas presents that will bring lasting joy and memories FAR beyond anything you can buy at Wal-Mart or Best Buy or E-bay.  I sincerely hope you will use my Christmas gift list and make this a holiday that really touches someone.  You never know, YOU may be the one most deeply changed by your efforts to give something real and meaningful this year. (more…)

Well, the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season is upon us.  You know what that means? - Dealing with knotheads!  Whether it’s your ex-spouse, your alcoholic mother, your abusive father, your in-laws with no sense of personal boundaries, the guy in front of you on the road driving 10 mph under the speed limit, or the woman in the department store who clearly doesn’t know the answer to your question but is trying to sound convincing anyway…knotheads are in abundance.  We deal with them throughout the year, but they seem to come out of the woodwork this time of year.  This being the case, it seemed appropriate to offer you some practical guidance on successfully dealing with the knotheads in your life.

Let’s begin with a simple definition.  A knothead is anyone who seems determined to frustrate you.  I like to use the word “knothead,” because it has such a nice, descriptive ring to it, without crossing the line into…well, you know the more colorful terms you use for these folks - under your breath or behind their back or when the kids aren’t listening.  Anyway, knotheads appear to have the secret code to get to our buttons and push them to maximum aggravation level.  It is at this point that we begin to see the solution to dealing with the knothead dilemma.

Question: What is the difference between a knothead and a common bonehead?  Your common bonehead does goofy things, but doesn’t get you riled up.  No access to your buttons, you see.  The knothead, on the other hand, has found a way to get you to react with frustration, aggravation, or even outright fury when they pull out the goofy behavior card.  So, again, what is the difference between these two?  The degree to which you give them access to your emotional buttons!  This is great news!  It means you have a great deal of power in this equation.  You have the power to reduce any knothead in rank to a common bonehead, therefore rendering them totally endurable (even for a four hour Thanksgiving feast!). 

The power to neutralize even the most raging knothead is within your grasp.  It basically comes down to three simple (if challenging) mental tasks: (more…)

The fact that you are reading these words at this moment tells me several things: 1. You found my website, 2. You’ve got a bit of time to look around, and 3. You are hoping there is something worthwhile here on the site.  You may ultimately decide to contact me for professional counseling, but I know that many will not.  Either way, I hope your time spent on the site is a blessing for you.  I strive to make this website a place that provides you with a range of resources that will bless you with information, opportunities, inspiration, and challenges.  With this in mind, I’d like to offer you a very brief guided tour (sorry I’m not techno-savvy enough to make it interactive)

I have chosen this lighthouse image for the site’s banner, because it graphically reflects the power of hope - a ray of guiding light through the darkness and storms of life.  (For more on my emphasis on hope, read the fourth article after this one, entitled “The Power of HOPE.”)  Directly under the banner, you will find “Dr. Butner’s Daily Relationship Tips.”  Each time you visit a page on my site, you will find a new tip intended to help you improve your life and relationships.  I do my very best to post a new article every week on Friday or Saturday.  They are usually fairly brief (as articles go), but I like to think they are thought provoking and encouraging.  I am always open to feedback - comments, questions, suggestions, whatever.  You may email me at Roger@hopeforyourfamily.com, or feel free to submit a comment after any of the articles.  In order to submit a comment, you will need to register as a site member, but it is quick and easy to do.  Most of the articles are split with the notation (more…) in blue font.  Click there to read the rest of the article, and to bring up the option to leave a comment.  I currently have 7 categories of articles, which can be browsed by topic via the “Blog Categories” portion of the right column.  I will likely add more categories with time.  Feel free to ask about topics that you don’t find reflected at present.

There are a lot of resources available through the column on the right.  No doubt there are more resources listed than you really need.  However, my hope is that the link or book recommendation that others might skim right over is just the one you have been needing to find.  At the top of the column you can find information about me and my counseling practice.  The “Movie Recommendations” page will be updated periodically, and offers film recommendations by different life topics, as well as links to some very helpful websites in this regard.  The “Recommended Reading” pages will continue to grow, as well.  While certainly not comprehensive, these lists reflect the books that I have found particularly helpful, and a very brief review.  “Surviving the Holidays” is a page full of helpful tips for anyone to have a healthy holiday season experience, and specific ideas for those who will be facing the holidays having experienced painful losses.  Of course, the “Upcoming Events/Appearances/Articles” page is pretty straightforward.  I keep it up to date, so check back regularly.

You will see there are a lot of links listed under 13 different categories.  Each category and each link was included because I believe it holds real value for you.  (Those of you living outside of the Greater Baton Rouge area may not have need of the “Community Links,” but they still may give you some good ideas of resources to explore in your own community.)  I’ll not go into descriptions of all these categories and links, but I would encourage you to explore these other great websites when you have the time.  A very brief description of each will pop up when you hold your cursor over the link.  Finally, you find cover images/links for books which are currently at my bedside.  I share this with you to give you some idea of my interests and ongoing personal and professional development.  I also hope to encourage you to read good books, as well.

I hope this “tour” has been worth your valuable time, and helpful to you in some small way.  Again, please feel free to email me or register to comment on the site.  If you have found my website to be a helpful tool, I hope you will pass it along to someone else.  You never know what difference you might make in the life of someone else.

With Hope - Roger (more…)